Death

One of the things that are currently pushing me to write in this unknown blog about my ideas is the clarity of the meaning of death in my head.

In the last couple of years even if no one knew or noticed or no one said to me it's good to see you alive, I was several times close to death. I had a few really dangerous experiences while I was abroad yet the last two years took that to a new level so maybe I am writing all of this just to make a journal about the way I think in case something happened.

Understanding the certain end of all humans gives you some kind of clarity about a lot of things, at least it gives you the power to act accordingly when you are in control of your feelings.

I experienced death several times in my life with close people and one thing was common with all of them. I wished I have said a lot of things while they were alive and close to me. 

Yet the death of people you love always open your eyes to one particular fact, (I came with nothing to this world except for my soul, and when I will leave I will take nothing with me so if you don't have children or family after you and you don't care about the fake compliments of others about some accomplishments there is no point of gathering money or real-estates or anything cause you will not take anything with you when you die, and although all of us hope for a proper burial but losing the friendship and relationships with a lot of people in the last 10 years made me come to the conclusion that there is no need for good words after you die if you didn't feel it while you were alive regardless if it was honest or not because I will not hear it. I just hope that it will have the lowest impact and sadness on the people I truly love like my mother and sister and they can remember me in a good way.

I have never seen a man in history who lived forever except in the hearts of the people who really were close and loved him. Those people who never judged him and loved him with all of his inferiorities and unperfections. In all his states and conditions. I think when you think about it this way things become clear and from my own experience although the distance can divide these hearts it can never separate their hearts in a strange way especially family members, and although  I don't belive in supernatural phenomena, but there is something connecting the human hearts in the eather and I read a lot about that for some of the most well-known writers. 

Thinking about death for one minute in the day change all of your perspective about life and as Chris De Burgh who I am currently listening to, "it's strange how some people can see the wisdom in a war", maybe because in the war we are very close to death, which can change humans perception and reveal the animal nature in them. 

Although I don't like the idea of us waiting for the after-death life to go to heaven and I don't understand why people should put all of their life on hold just to wait for the grim reaper to take their life maybe to heaven or hell, but I can totally relate to the idea of not caring about expensive possesions for material goods(although I like them ^^) and I can't believe that a community may advance by preparing for death yet it may become wiser if this community accepted death. I have read in my life a lot about this matter yet one of the things that I heard so many times was the poem of (If) by RUDYARD KIPLING. 

Somehow it just kept me going for a long time after my energy have been drained out and gave me a sense of the real important things in life and if you added the acceptance of Death as the inevitable end of man it becomes a ridiculously very strong spell ^^. Maybe because when I started listening and reading it I was hopelessly in need for a father figure and doing some things in this poem was hard as hell sometimes. I will close this writing with the poem I think there is nothing left to say after reading it:

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If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son! 

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18/7/2021